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You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.

Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.

When this happens frequently, it can lead to a reduction in their sex-life together, a growing sense of disconnection and an erosion of the marital bond.

Improving the marriage The discovery of your husband’s online world is a crisis in your marriage but it can also represent an opportunity.

AWith people spending more and more time online, accessing pornography and adult websites can be a big problem in modern marriages.

When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.Though it may be painful, the fact that you have started talking about issues is a good sign.To continue with this process you may wish to seek marriage counselling ( relationshipsireland.com, accord.ie).There is a good chance of success for the two of you, if your husband accepts responsibility for what he has done and if the two of you are willing to work hard on improving your marriage.

Take some time out together You can also take action at home to improve your marriage on a daily basis.Like many problems, it can start innocently at first, with a person visiting sexually titillating sites perhaps out of boredom or a seeking escapism but then it can escalate to other behaviours, such as directly communicating with other people online and over time can become addictive and harmful.

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