"I do think pornography and the way it seeped into culture has had some effect because it's so saturated, it's so become a norm that people are seeing sex and their bodies through a completely distorted lens." -Rowan Peeling, Former Editor of the Erotic Review.We have been working with young single men in our capacities as educators, public figures and authors for more than 30 years.The better you learn to see these things from women’s points of view, the less unattractive you will be to them and the less confused, resentful and frustrated you will be by how they respond to you.We’re not suggesting you have to become a gender psychologist or feminize your whole worldview.These guys are all as tall as NBA players, as muscular as NFL linebackers and as sexually aggressive as a felon on his first night out of jail.You haven’t even met them, but you can see the gears turning behind their eyes. But lo and behold, some of them are actually pretty intriguing.This is how everything, not just liquor, is sold to men—hand tools, shampoo, Doritos, porn, cars.
Go to a sports bar in any major city or college town on game day, and invariably you will run into a crew of gorgeous young women in skin-tight, cutoff referee outfits or school jerseys walking around, selling shot specials or beer buckets.
Some of them are really lame and unattractive and make crude, ham-fisted passes at you. Some of the same male traits that frighten you the most also seem to be the most attractive to you.
The guys who pose the greatest physical threat are also the same guys you can envision making you feel the safest.
Women are surrounded by bigger, stronger, faster men who probably want to have sex with them and could take it by force.
This is their experience not just at bars and clubs, but at school and work, on the street and the subway.In that time, the most common question we’ve gotten from guys centers on how to increase their confidence with women.