You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon. We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Ever see a list of the richest black people in the country? If a woman tells you she's 20 and looks 16, she's 12. I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. I'm gonna get me another job, I'm gonna start saving some money, and then you're dead man! Yeah, you could do it without a man, but that don't mean it's to be done! Every time someone gets shot, people will be like, "Damn, he must have did something. " Niggers will say "I would blow your fucking head off--if I could afford it! Chris Rock (Bigger and Blacker) A bunch of girls say, "You don't need no man to help you raise no child" shut the fuck up with the bullshit! If I look up into the windows of the apartments I pass, I can see old ladies on the phone. If they really want you to pay it, then they'll come and tap on your window." Her whole philosphy of life was: if you die owing money, then you've won. If you're one of the chosen few people in the world lucky enough to get your hands on a steak, bite the s**t out of it! They've already dialed 9-1- and are just waiting for me to do something wrong. People are starving all over the world, what do you mean, "Red meat will kill you"? The only thing I know about Africa is that it's far, far away. The boat ride's so long, there are still slaves on their way here. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a f**king lactose intolerance?!
" Chris Rock (Bigger and Blacker) My favorite song right now is impossible to defend. We should all be ashamed of ourselves for liking this fucking song. " I feel sorry for the guys that gotta pick a wife out of this bunch. Chris Rock (Never Scared) George Bush has fucked up so bad, he made it hard for a white man to run for president! Chris Rock (Kill The Messenger) We're not just voting for him 'cause he's black, we're voting for him 'cause he's black and qualified.