There’s wit, there’s sexual innuendo, there’s instant talk about making plans. But, sure enough, when he shows up, he’s as cute as his picture. You play mini-golf and grab two rounds of drinks at a nearby bar, after which you go back to your place and make out on the couch for an hour. He knew he didn’t want to get into a long-distance relationship, and so, instead of trekking to go on a first date, he emailed Sandy to apologize and wish her well in her search for love. Even though she’d only exchanged a few emails, she’d gotten excited about this cute, successful, articulate, enthusiastic man. She started to dream about this man saving her from a life of loneliness. They really didn’t have any relationship whatsoever.You have an amazing evening, filled with easy conversation and laughter. You close the restaurant, end with a goodnight kiss, and a promise to do this again soon. In fact, you do a little more than that, but hold a little bit back. He says good night and tells you he’ll call the next day. As a result of this wishful thinking, Sandy was as hurt by this man’s simple email as she would have been if they’d been dating and broken up. She could have that sick feeling in the pit of her stomach and lose sleep over how she’s going to replace him. As a result, Sandy wasn’t “losing” anything; she never had anything to lose. It’s not that Sandy was wrong to look at all the available signs and conclude that she had special connection with a special guy. When you date other moms, you pack extra baggies of healthy snacks and push doors open with your face while schlepping car seats. Never use while discussing homeschooling, gluten, gun control, breastfeeding, marriage, red dye number 40, infertility, or Jesus. If there’s a subject that might cause you to stop blinking and/or breathing, save it for fourth base and don’t unleash it at the park. Feel free to bust out your full-blown honk laugh, talk about how soy gives you diarrhea, and how you worry that you’re a crappy mom. There’s dessert, staying out till the security guard kicks you out of the mall parking lot, and no walk of shame as you crawl into bed next to your racked out hubs. Dating for moms is super fun, and you just might get lucky. When you were dating your man, you ate dinners for which you didn’t pay and walked through doors that he opened for you. To my fourth-basers: I love you more than words can say. I’ll dust off my fancy jeans, we can eat Thai coconut soup and talk about not our kids. Fourth base for moms is so much better than dating fourth base. When you show up at the park for the first time with your little ones spilling out of the van (along with a healthy amount of cups and dirty napkins, if you’re like me), scan the swingset for anyone you might recognize, and notice that all the other moms are already hanging out in pairs, you realize that your dating years have only just begun.I just threw it on last minute.” When you date other moms, you wear tees and yoga pants and say, “Oh this old thing? This is a tricky base because your kids are now on home court and your new friend is going to see your daughter body slam her toddler to the ground and take back the toy that he just picked up. By third base, I’m full frontal hugging, so prepare for that. You can actually meet at a restaurant, movie theater, coffee shop, or bookstore and talk.
Unless your objective is a one night stand, it's better to err on the side of slow and steady than quick and dirty.
Studies have shown that it is nearly impossible for a woman to have any form of intimacy without there being an emotional connection.