After all, this has been my lifelong dream and at 31, I’m not getting any younger. But the truth is he made me the happiest I’ve ever been. Looking back, I feel like there were little signs that should have been red flags: -I swear I saw him looking at personals on Craigslist but I didn’t say anything -He had no boundaries with people.
I asked J to be out (he is currently living at a hotel) and now I am managing a 3BR, 2 ba house by myself and I am also taking care of our pets. I asked J to tell me the truth and I asked how many, how long. He was constantly getting other girl’s phone numbers and adding them on Facebook.
Sure as the most certain sure, plumb in the uprights, well entretied, braced in the beams, Stout as a horse, affectionate, haughty, electrical, I and this mystery here we stand.
Clear and sweet is my soul, and clear and sweet is all that is not my soul.
He said 2 1/2 years (so before we started dating) and over 30. I thought nothing of it — I really trusted him with all my heart. At first, it was amazing, but it dropped off very fast.
I knew from day one about his struggle with alcohol and drugs but he had just gotten his 4 year sobriety chip and attended weekly AA meetings with his sponsor. He would leave flowers on my doorstep, pick me up from work (even though I lived only a few blocks away), take me out all the time. Our first year of marriage brought a lot of ups and downs; J lost his job, we lost our dog, we moved cities after I was accepted into medical school, J got a new job (that he loved), we adopted a new dog, and things were starting to really come together by those last couple months.
Lack one lacks both, and the unseen is proved by the seen, Till that becomes unseen and receives proof in its turn.